Marriage Isn’t Just About Loving Someone

Marriage isn’t just about loving someone. It’s about staying connected while both of you are changing, sometimes in ways you don’t recognize. No one warns you about that day you wake up and realize you are not the same woman you were when you said “I do.” Sex doesn’t feel the same. Some dreams shift. The way you said you would show up changes. And yes, you are tired, bone-deep tired.

I used to think marriage was about finding your person and building a life together. I did not realize it would also be about learning myself in real time, while loving someone who is learning themselves too.

Change creeps in quietly. It is in the mornings when I pause and notice how much of myself I have tucked away. It is in the nights when laughter feels heavy, and I catch myself staring at my husband across the room, wondering if he notices the subtle shifts in me, the parts I am just beginning to reclaim.

 

I used to dream about romance, about grand gestures and pampering him. Now, some days, I just want to be saved, saved from the stress and emotional weight of running a home as a wife and mother. And yet, the love is still there. Fierce. Steady. Real. But I am human. I am tired.

That tiredness does not mean the marriage is failing. It means life is happening. Responsibilities pile up even when love remains. And that is okay.

I am learning to communicate more clearly. I am learning patience. I am learning to grow emotionally. And maybe most importantly, I am learning to prioritize peace for myself, for him, for us.

I am not arriving.

I am becoming.

Anyway.

—Abi